Between the Storms

For two days, the rain was relentless. Not the kind of rain that’s nice to walk in. The kind of wind-driven rain that makes you want to take cover, stay inside, drenches you to the bone when you venture outside even to cross the street.

Huge swells brought waves crashing ashore. You get it that you are at the ocean – the edge of your world and out there could be dragons or such.

It just kept raining. All Sunday and all Monday.

Then this morning – spectacular California coast blue skies with occasional puffs of clouds.

The next storm is expected on Thursday.

First. Thanks be to the storms. We need the rain. We’ve been in a drought for three years now. We might even be able to catch up – depending on how much El Nino has to bring us.

But right now, we are between storms.

“I can see clearly now the rain is gone. I can see all the obstacles in my way.”

I love those lyrics. The clarity storms bring. Not clear sailing, but what we have to pay attention to. What is in our path that we need to confront or go around.

Getting away always does this for me. Especially when I am near the ocean. It helps me put myself in perspective

I think the thing that has been the most difficult for me with moving back to my hometown is that it is landlocked. I was 15 minutes away from Muir Beach when I lived in Mill Valley. I could go there after a long day at work.

A woman I met at an Iowa Summer Writing Festival class who lives in Iowa said she liked the extremes of weather they have in Iowa (it got down to 15 degrees below zero this year and there was a tornado warning this past summer when I was there).

I think the extremes here on the left coast are best seen on the coastline. “Stay away from the beaches,” the woman who served us breakfast at our B&B told us yesterday. Rogue waves, sneaker waves yank people off the beach and carry them away – perhaps never to be seen again.

One has to respect the grandeur of Nature.

So here I am between storms – and maybe between stories; the one that used to be and the one I’ve been rewriting. The story I want to live.

The obstacles I see have to do with fear and anger. How do I mobilize my anger to effect change, and how do I confront fears so I can move forward fearlessly. I read lately that being fearless does not mean being without fear – rather it means feeling fear and acting in spite of it. Not letting it stop you.

My anger right now is mostly about how politicians are using fear to secure their power. It makes me insane. I don’t have a clue as to how to mobilize that anger so that we can be a fearless nation.

Those are my obstacles: fear and anger.

Between the storms.

I’d say it’s a beautiful day today, but I thought yesterday was beautiful, too. The storm brought new sculptures of driftwood to the beaches. And waves are still crashing against the rocks.

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