He who cannot howl, will not find his pack.”
Charles Simic
I’ve been writing, or rewriting, my personal story the past few weeks. The project arose because the old story wasn’t working. The old story could have been titled, “How to Fail by Not Even Trying.”
Hmmmm…I never titled it before.
The theme of the story was gaining acceptance by not trying. Only I never gained acceptance, no matter how hard I tried to not try.
What I became was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I donned the sheep’s clothing because I wanted them to like me. To not be threatened by me. To not be scared of me.
To be accepted.
Apparently I never fooled the sheep. They knew I was a wolf. They thought I wanted to eat them. What they didn’t understand was that I had no interest in eating them. I didn’t see them as food.
I don’t really want to malign sheep here. Although I will have to say that when I’ve seen sheepdog trials, I get really annoyed with the sheep. They just seem to want to give the dog, who’s working her ass off, a hard time. They don’t really seem to have a mind of their own, have any intention. They’re just kind of passive aggressive.
Passive aggressive is my bete noir.
But I digress.
So, now that I have come out of the closet, shed my sheep clothing, owned up to my true nature, I’ve been working on my howl.
I’ve read that wolfpacks recognize each other through their howls. A wolf’s howl is its song – its unique voice – that resonates with the rest of its pack. A wolf can find its way home by howling and listening for the pack to howl back.
So, the title for my new story is: “Howl as if the Pack will Howl Back.”
Acceptance is not a bad thing to strive for. We humans are pack animals after all. But, you can’t find acceptance if you don’t own up to what you want to be accepted for.
Acceptance begins within.
New story. New theme:
He who cannot howl, will not find his pack.
Thank you Charles Simic.
Two notes:
One: I don’t like lamb. Never have liked the taste of it.
Two: Sarah Palin approves of hunting wolves from planes. Need I say more?
I am wondering about the impact on you from titling your old story?
LikeLike
Well, it’s pretty interesting to put words to what one has been doing. Or at least to what one has unconsciously thought.
Oh my!
LikeLike
Michael,
I think I gave too quick of a reply. The impact was to free me. Putting words to something (at least for me, a writer), makes it real. I’ve struggled with allowing myself to rise to my own level — to own my talent, competence, and skills. I felt guilty about having them.
I’ve started instead to view those things as gifts to be cherished and used well.
In short, I think titling my old story has helped me end it. Closed that chapter as it were.
What are your thoughts? I’m curious why you asked.
Karen
LikeLike
Hello what is the name of the poem that the Charles Simic quote comes from. Thanks
Sonia
LikeLike
I’m sorry, but I don’t know.
LikeLike